Reading the news is a dangerous game.

All events, persons, or facts presented by the Portable Account are above all baseless, slanderous, and false. We have no interest in providing truth or clarity to any of our readers. We have no interest in stuffy literary analysis for academics. There are neither deep nor complex understandings to be gleaned by viewing our site. Take what herein lies as all but satire at one’s own risk.

The Portable — the premier journalistic body of Dos Pueblos Senior High School — reports only the latest and greatest tidings from DP. With its team of pseudonymous fact-finders, copy editors, and graphic designers, the Portable aims to dispatch the news most sought after by the students. The Portable must, of course, acknowledge its lesser-known geminate student news site, The Charger Account, but implores the reader to trust the journalistic integrity of our team here at the P., where we denounce reliable facts, instead turning the the far more entertaining locus of outrageous misinformation. Keep an ear to the ground and both eyes to your cell phone in anticipation of upcoming Portable Account accounts.

Inquiries to the Portable are accepted at dphsportable@gmail.com. We are student-run, so if you are critically minded or have a piece of art or writing unfit for traditional publishing we encourage you to reach out.